Getting My Sexy Back

     Recently I attended a birthday party, where we induldged in some erotic fun. I mean yes, I got on the pole, the stripper pole that is. We also were taught very seductive lap dance moves, that made me wish I had someone to show them to. The whole experience was very sexually liberating and gave me a sense of sexual confidence that I never had felt before. There was a time in my life where I always didn't feel that way about myself, but I had alot of people fooled including myself.
    See when I was younger, I looked like I had it all, but the key word is LOOKED, I looked like I had it all. I was young firm and certain body parts stayed up when the clothes came off. My dating life (back then, not now) was at it's peak, boy after boy and date after date, life couldn't get any better then this, so I thought. I thought I felt confident, I knew I was sexy, I knew what the boys wanted, but why was there this lingering self doubt looming over my head, why did having the so-called perfect body, the silky jet black long hair, and the right it girl factor wasn't good enough. Well ladies because, IT'S ALL SUPERFICIAL! Superficial thoughts gain superficial results. The sad thing was I didn't learn about this til, guess what, now. I'm 28 and alittle thicker (of course in all the right places), my hair is shorter (and blonder), and my it girl factor, well lets just say I passed on the torch to the young bucks who will have to learn just like I did.
      Surprisingly I'm much more happier in my life right now, this new arrangement in being confident and single is expressed so differently then when I was 21. In my early twenties I was the most insecure my body wasn't good enough, my hair wasn't long enough, I wasn't sexy enough, I wasn't funny enough, I wasn't bad ass enough, gosh all these thoughts are giving me a headache. But that's what was bouncing around in my over analyzing brain. I was constantly coming up with crazy ass reasons on why I was and never would be good enough, while everyone else thought I had it made in the shade. I was trying so hard to be a Kim Kardashian impersonator with a touch of crazy Lindsey Lohan, the results equaled self destruction which turned into self pity. At this stage of the game  my confidence level is skin deep, deep in my core therefore my whole body is nourished with positive self esteem and positive self image, (I now know that I am the SHIT).
       I want to be confident for reasons that are forever, because lets face it honey, looks fade away then whats left of you. Thats why I've taken upon myself in building up myself, if you don't who will. I'm taking on the motto stepping out of my comfort zone. For once I'm doing things for myself and I'm doing things that I would of never even considered or had the confidence to try for fear, fear of WHAT. What do you have to lose, the answer is NOTHING. Starting this blog, taking exotic classes, and just setting goals that seem unattainable, but are so exciting to try and accomplish I'm on a natural high. Ladies I dare you to get up and go after what you want, the only thing standing in the way is well, YOU!