A couple of weeks ago I was dating a guy, lets call him "The Quoter", because he quoted everything from B movies, to country song lyrics, to even corny tv commercials. Anyway when I first met him he told me that he was ready for a serious relationship, and that he saw me as "The Potential Girlfriend". We went on very lavish dinner dates, had wonderful conversations (WHEN HE WASN'T QUOTING)! I was really starting to believe him, until I broke a rule, a very important rule. I asked him if he was dating any other girls?, "LADIES", never ask this question when you first meet a guy, because you don't really want to know the answer. TRUST!!!! Of course his answer was, YES, I'm actually dating three other women including you. I was shocked and appalled by his answer, I mean I could understand one other girl, but three other women including me, that's four women you are trying to have a potential relationship with. So I asked him, "Well I thought you wanted a serious relationship?" He answers, " I do." I asked, " but what about the things that you told me?" He answers, " Oh baby, I just told you what you wanted to hear!"
In that very moment, men just keep your mouth shut, I mean what reaction do you honestly think a woman should give to you! Needless to say, I am no longer dating him, and to be honest I really couldn't stand his quoting to begin with. Since this is all about honesty, it was, very nerve wrecking!
Another example of when men need to keep their mouth shut is, recently an old flame from my early twenties came back into the picture, he had just got stationed to Hawaii and wanted me to come visit him. He even said he would pay for my ticket and everything else. A free trip to Hawaii, come on now, I couldn't possibly pass that up. Well just last week, Mr. Military Man decides he needs to confess, he tells me that he wants to win his ex-girl back, which he tried several times and to his surprise she said no. Now he wants me to come visit him to make her jealous, as he is telling me this, I'm chuckling to myself, because if he would've just kept his mouth shut, I would've came visited, had a great time with him, and just left. Even though his intentions were to win his ex back, I would've never had to know.
I'm not going to lie, when each guy told me the so-called truth, it kind of made me feel worthless and like I'm not good enough, but here is the thing, I am good enough! Even though, I would've rather not have heard such lame responses, I am glad I did, because now I can choose if I want to even put myself in those ridiculous situations. As people we love happy endings and we tend to walk blindly when it comes to the labors of love. We don't want to hear or see the truth, because it will shatter our hopeless romantic fantasies.
As a woman who is almost thirty and who has been dating since the age of twelve, I completely understand how most of us tend to overlook the red flags, so we don't have to start the dating process all over again with somebody new. That's what dating is all about though, getting to know people and taking risks, because one day that perfect person for you will appear, but how will you ever know if you don't get out there and have some fun!!!!! By the way, no Hawaii trip for me. LOL!
