We break up and make up to make up and break up, aka (dysfunctional relationships) don't be a statistic.

            I know this blog is named "The life of a single girl", but there was a time when I was in a relationship or several for that matter, hell I used to be engaged. I've had my fair share of boyfriends, some were great and some, well lets just say not so much. I must admit to, I was not the perfect girlfriend either. In alot of my break ups I was the culprit. Have you ever been in a dysfunctional relationship or even a dysfunctional hook up? Most people have, including myself. The definition of a dysfunctional relationship is when two people who have no business being together hook up. For some reason dysfunctional people are always drawn to each other. It's like their issues compensate off each other and yes dysfunctional relationships are caused by peoples issues. When you bring baggage into a relationship whether it's daddy issues,  trust issues, or abandonment issues on top of whatever your mate is dealing with, well thats just a recipe for disaster. If your a Jersey Shore fan you would've seen the infamous fight  between Ronnie and Sam. I to once was that girl, always crying and angry because my then boyfriend wasn't ready to settle down, but for some reason he convinced himself that he was. But here's the situation was I really ready to settle down also.
         In my early twenties I had a boyfriend who to this day I still consider the love of my life. We were together for almost three years which I will add is the longest relationship that I have ever been in. The first year was awesome, the honeymoon stage you could say. We had what a relationship is supposed to have trust, honesty, and communication, what could possibly go wrong? Well alot did which is a whole other blog post, but anyway that next year was DRAMA!!!!!!!!! How could one year be like heaven to the next year being a living hell. I mean our relationship was like a terrible rollercoaster that fell off the tracks and headed straight into the ground to only blow up in our faces.
      If you have ever been a drama filled of a mess relationship, you could agree it is one of the most hardest relationships to get out of. When your in a dysfunctional relationship it's like the drama is a black hole and it's determined to suck your body, mind, and spirit into it's dark tunnel. Another reason why it's very hard to get out of a dysfunctional relationship is for some reason you wanna win the battle.The question is what battle, to see who can hurt who the most because thats all it boils down to. How at one point this person meant the world to me, I loved him, and I would've did anything to put a smile on his face. To all of a sudden wanting to plot revenge, lie, and make a fool out of him. How one day I loved this guy and couldn't wait to see his face, to smell his scent. To the next I hated him, wished I never had met him. But at the same time I still loved him, (so confusing). WHAT WENT WRONG, WHERE DID WE GO WRONG? The answer is, we both had issues. To be exact neither one of us was ready for what we were trying to accomplish which was a loving and mature relationship.
      Even though I'm older and have matured tremendously, I still have issues that I'm trying to work through, (also another blog post). I definitely wouldn't be a good girlfriend to any guy right now. The single life suites me just fine, ha ha. Here's the thing women we have to ask ourselves why do you want to be in a relationship. Second question ask yourself what are my issues, which you should know by now, but some of us are still in denial, (another blog post). Anyway moving on, and the last question to ask yourself is have you honestly worked through your issues and I mean HONESTLY. Ladies don't be a bag lady, I garantee your relationship will head south fast. If you are already in a relationship ask yourself this, Are you purposley plotting revenge on your mate, are you sticking to the arguement at hand, not using recent disagreements to hash out old shit (GET OVER IT). And most important when your not with him does your stomach cramp up. If you answered yes to all three you better reevaluate your relationship and take a good look in the mirror at yourself, and say my name is, and I have issues which is why I'm in a dysfunctional relationship. Once this is tackled the journey is up to you, whether you want to be in a mature and loving relationship or the alternative.
       
        

Happy Valentines Day to Me!!!!!!!!

    I know Valentines Day was on Monday and I'm kind of late, but oh well. I'm gonna share with you how this particular year my Valentines Day was actually, well peaceful. Did I get flowers, no. Did I get chocolates, no and most of all did I get sex, HELL NO!!!!!! lol. I did homework and watched television with my mother and you know what I was ok. If that was me a year ago I probably would've been depressed, thinking what about me? That same question was asked this year, WHAT ABOUT ME, WHAT DO I REALLY WANT? Like Mary J. "All I Really Want is to be HAPPY" Yes happy. And yes ladies being happy doesn't mean with a man. It's perfectly fine to be HAPPY by yourself.
          This was the very first Valentines Day where I was happy and content chillin with me, myself, and I. For once I'm learning the true meaning of love which is to, love thy self. This is so true how can you love anyone including friends, family, and even a man when you can't even treat yourself good. When you look in the mirror and cannot give you, your own compliment what makes you think somebody else would want to. Women you have to have faith that one day you will get that special, sexy, romantic Valentines Day with your perfect guy. In the meantime spend time with people who truly love you like your girls, family, and why not try treating yourself to a romantic Valentines Day. Love your body, pamper it treat her like the queen that she is.
     Women I dare you to hold out for the real deal. You don't have to settle just to say you have Valentines Day plans, because who are you really cheating, the answer is yo damn self. Don't be phased that you spent Valentines Day alone, in fact embrace it. Cuz next year could be a whole different story:)

Haters can be Motivators

Hello dolls I'm back, and boy do I have alot to talk about. This week I wanna focus on how our haters can be our motivators. For this particular blog really anyone can relate but, I am going to focus on the single ladies and haters can be our dimise. Lets define the term Hater! Well in my terms it means someone who is jealous, envious, and just down right out to make you feel bad about yourself, because in reality they are not happy with themselves. Now when it comes to the single girl this could be her dimise and I feel this way because, most young single girls start out so ambitious, optimistic, and ready to take on the world. What happens is we are so excited that we share our glorius bright ideas to the world thinking they will be just as excited, and guess what, most are not. In my experience in my early twenties I had so many wonderful ideas of spreading my personality around the world and making a difference, my mistake wasn't telling and sharing, my mistake was believing and settling. I was letting people put their shit on me and in turn I was the one being, I guess you could say, shitty. People made me feel ashamed for talking proper, coming from a two parent household, and having goals. One day it got to me, the people accomplished the mission, I let them win. I was trying to please certain people by trying to conform to loserville, lol and not being true to my authentic self. At age twenty five I really was a walking debbie downer, I felt horrible for still being single, I felt horrible for having an awesome relationship with my parents, and get this I felt horrible for just being me. The sad part was the people who put these crazy thoughts in my brain were suppose to be my friends, co-workers, and even some family members. These people were suppose to be my positive support system, not negative debbie downers themselves. One day I realized nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you really do feel bad about yourself. Thats when I knew I had to get myself together. Doing positive activities like going to church, reading self help books, and surrounding myself around positive people is what and is still helping me get my happy back. Now I can spot negative people a mile away and I run for the hills. There are 3 types of haters 1. The blunt hater, now these people have no shame in telling you right off the back you can't and won't do it. 2. The picker, pickers are like little wood peckers they just peck, peck, peck until they have pecked all your layers away leaving you valnerable and easy prey. Lastly we have the manipulater hater, you really have to be careful with these people, usually these are friends, co-workers, and family members who make you feel like they have your best interest at heart but, in reality they are sabotaging. I finally am now able to embrace the fact that I'm single and yes I talk proper and I'm not ashamed that my parents help me out. I made a vow that I would never ever again compromise myself  because somebody else is not comfortable around me , beacuse in reality I make them feel insecure. Not my problem!!!!!! Ladies has anyone ever tried to make your feel bad about your dreams and goals. Have you ever compromised your authentic self so people wouldn't talk about you anymore. Share!!!!!!!! In the year 2011 do something about it, thats my goal!!!!! Whats yours!

Scared

So I'm just a regular 28yr old woman from Omaha. NE just tryna find my nitch in life. I decided to start this blog because I wanted to share my experiences with men, dieting , jobs and just the shit life throws at us. We all start off optimistic in our early twenties thinking we conquer the world but by age 30 sum of us let lifes daggers pinn us down where we can't even enjoy the next phase of our lives. I once was that girl so positive and full of life, but as the years went on I honestly could of had my own reality show after sum of the shit that I had been through. At age 28 I finally took a stand a said no more I'm tired of living a chaotic life, I'm tired of not knowing or having a plan, and I just wanna finally be happy and at peace. Have you ever felt like that where your done with everything, but the key is most women don't know what to do and then they relaspe giving up and going back to their old ways, because it's all habit. I will be blogging once a wk and sharing with you my life and really opening my heart to all so you know you are not alone trust. So sit back and enjoy the show cuz it's definitely a ride. I look back on my life say damn I did that. LOL!