Daddy Issues

     Most of us have them, most are in denial, and most just don't want to admit it. Admit what, well daddy issues of course. Some might even ask, what if I don't know my father, or what if he was never around? Well sista I hate to break it to you, but your in the same category right along with us. Yes, I included myself, I'll be the first to admit that I have some serious daddy issues and still working through them.
     In my case my father was in my life and still is, in fact my parents have been married for twenty-nine years. My father has always held down a good job, provided for the family, and always has had my best interest at heart. Looking back I never had to want or need for anything, even to this day. But you see there was something always lacking, something that no amount of money and presents could ever replace and that was him. I needed him and all of him, his mind, heart, and soul. Reading this you might think, woman he is not your man, but your missing the whole picture. You see a father is suppose to be a little girls first positive male role model in her life. Your father is suppose to set the foundation of how you are to be treated by any man that comes into your life. Your father is suppose to be an example of what kind of man you eventually would want to settle down with. And most importantly your father is suppose to set the tone of how you think, feel, and treat yourself throughout your life. The sad reality is most little girls do not get that fairy tale father figure, including myself.
      Don't get me wrong I love my father very deeply and I know he loves me much more then I could ever dream of, but he will never show it, my father was and will never be an emotional person. It's hard because sometimes I wish he would tell me how beautiful I am, how proud he is, and that he loves me. But, he thinks and feels that I should already know this especially through his gifts and trips that he plans. I can count on one hand how many times my father told me I was pretty and I can count on one hand how many times he said I love you. My mother tried and tries to say the exact things, that I've always longed for my father to tell me, but it's not the same, because daughters need that father figure bond.
     When I was younger I looked for love and attention in all the wrong places, I wanted so bad for a male figure to love me that I sold myself short. I was so use to my unemotional dad and always fighting for his attention whether good and bad, that I didn't noticed I was selecting men for romantic relationships who possessed that same trait. Growing up I was so used to my nonexistent relationship with my father, well as an adult that's exactly what kind of relationships that I was envolved in, nonexistent. Once I got older, I figured out the negative cycle I was getting myself into and I knew I had to do something about it. What did I do you ask, I decided to work on my relationship with my father. I had to learn to forgive him and accept him for who he is. I know my father will never be like the dad from full house or leave it to beaver and I'm ok with that. I know my father loves me and is proud of me, he may not show it the way I want him to, but he does in his little way.
     I'm blessed that I am able to rebuild my relationship with my father, because I know many people who can't, and I say to them LET IT GO. Don't hold on to all that burden, hurt, or even anger. If your father is or was never around due to his neglect, well his loss. His loss that he didn't get to meet a strong, beautiful, and vibrant, daughter who would've lit up his life with her warm and contagious smile. We as women with daddy issues have got to move on whether it's accepting the situation for what it is and who they are or even forgiving them and most importantly forgiving ourselves. Now that I'm older I can't keep blaming my dad for what he didn't do when I was child, I look at what he is doing and how he is always there for me when the times get tough. I have to let go and let him in, because belive it or not my romantic relationships will suffer. Ladies I promise if you tackle this issue whether your dad is around or not, I promise a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you will be amazed at how your romantic relationships will become more positive. Daddy issues are so imbedded in us that we don't even realize it is an issue. And its more common then many people may realize.